Of Being Myself

So happen to listen to one of my all time favourite songs, by Patty/Patti Smith and I just love the lyrics. It does sometimes remind me so much that I am not perfect, in loving anyone or in a relationship with people. At times, I need to break friendships for it is of the best solution, not because I wanted to, but I have to. This does remind me of the song “Cruel to be kind” in the right measure.

At times I made mistakes, and those mistakes will always be in my mind because I could not turn back and told myself it is okay. Everything will be back to normal again. My friends supported me, telling me I’m not at fault, but deep down my conscious mind keep telling me all these are lies. It’s comforting to know my good friends love me, and want the best for me.Yet I could not deny the agony feelings that I have to feel when I need to let go friends who doesn’t choose to understand me better and forgive my wrongs.

Thus, sometimes love just ain’t enough. But if love coupled with respect, understanding and commitment, I believe that you would probably have the greatest love of all. There is no guarantee that greatest love need not face trials and challenges, but if you truly believe that your love worth fighting for, then the end result is never be in the question. Rather it is the process of loving people that matters. Because you can never stop loving someone when you once loved someone, just probably it is in a different kind of love now. That is what my Bear once told me.

I will still love my friends that no longer called “my friends” or special people I crosspath with that no longer able to hold the status ’special’ in my life, but I’m glad they are with me during the time God intend for me to meet them. They had taught me wonderful life lessons and because of them, I slowly learn what love means. That love should not keep record of wrongs, that love is not selfish, that love means accepting one’s weaknesses, that love means sacrificing your own need for the happiness of another, that love means love when you don’t calculate that “I give you more love than you do to me.”

I am not perfect yet in giving my best to my loved one or my friends, but I am prayerful enough that one day I will know how.  :)

So teach me how.

Sometimes Love Just Ain’t Enough by Patty Smith

Now, I don’t want to lose you
but I don’t want to use you
just to have somebody by my side.
And I don’t want to hate you,
I don’t want to take you
but I don’t want to be the one to cry.

(Chorus)
But there’s a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it’s sad when you know it’s your heart you can’t trust.
There’s a reason why people don’t stay where they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.

Now, I could never change you
I don’t want to blame you.
Baby, you don’t have to take the fall.
Yes, I may have hurt you, but I did not desert you.
Maybe I just want to have it all.

It makes a sound like thunder
it makes me feel like rain.
And like a fool who will never see the truth,
I keep thinking something’s gonna change.

(Chorus)

And there’s no way home
when it’s late at night and you’re all alone.
Are there things that you wanted to say?
And do you feel me beside you in your bed,
there beside you, where I used to lay?

And there’s a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it’s sad when you know it’s your heart they can’t touch.
There’s a reason why people don’t stay who they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just ain’t enough.

Baby, sometimes, love… it just ain’t enough.
Oh, Oh, Oh, No