Without careful thoughts

Sometimes in life, when you are slapped with absurd words or statements, what would you do? Do you just listen or you express your thoughts? There is a risk in doing this; you may just lose a friend. You don’t know how your friend could handle your awful words. Awful but truthful. Which you believe is the most basic and logic statement of the year. But then again, who am I to place my rational thoughts to my friend?

You know how stubborn or inflexible (in bear’s term) people can be. I am a good example. haha. Very very difficult to listen to advices. Always fall into doing wrong things at the right time with the right person or sometimes wrong person. Doesn’t matter right or wrong person or timing, but once you do the wrongs, you are already at fault.

Once bitten, twice not shy. That’s me. Eventhough bitten so many times, I can still giggle and forget about the whole matter which then it repeats again. It only stops when I receive stern warnings that I might fall flat hard the next time around. And no one to listen to my whining should the unwanted scenerio happen again. 😛

The reason why I didn’t tell my friend is she might think I am bias to this discussion we had. Afterall, I have strong conviction about certain issues that she is aware of, but she do not agree with me. It’s okay not to agree but to utter those absurd words is really mind boggling especially just to defend her words against mine. Tell me the real reasons, tell me the real problem not just hide it and made an outrageous remark.

Sigh. What is there left to say? I have said what I have should. The rest is really up to you to decide.  You are entitled to make your own judgement. Without careful thoughts, these could become your very future you make – bleak or not.

Is That A Sign?

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Is it a sign from you O Lord

When I prayed to you

That everything seems getting darker and darker each passing day

That crying is no longer a mending song

The effort I did not put in

Dreaming of my wishful thinking

For I want my ways

I want it so badly

That I forgot about Your ways, O’ Lord

So untimely(for me), that patience must be instil in me

To wait for the painful truth

The truth I don’t wish to see

Revealed, that I will shed my last tears.

Before It’s Too Late

A lot of times I keep telling myself, do what I wish of doing before it’s too late. Hold back my fear, hold back all those feelings that keep me captive and break free before it’s too late.

Before it gets into you.

Before it ruins you.

Before it slows you down.

Just ..

Before it’s too late.

When will you know it’s too late?

Your conscience will start revealing to you that your life had gone by without making sense of living.

What are the purpose of me being here?

Why am I here?

A lot of theories and a lot of common facts will tell you why you are here, what are your purpose supposedly.

But it does not fit in. It just doesn’t.

I have to make sense of my existence, no one else.

Ramblings provoked by the song below.

Goo Goo Dolls – Before it’s too late

I wonder through fiction to look for the truth
Buried beneath all the lies
And I stood at a distance
To feel who you are
Hiding myself in your eyes

And hold on before it’s too late
Until we leave this behind
Don’t fall just be who you are
It’s all that we need in our lives

And the risk that might break you
Is the one that would save
A life you dont live is still lost
So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real til it’s gone

Hold on before its too late
Until we leave this behind
Don’t fall just be who you are
It’s all that we need in our lives

So live like you mean it
Love til you feel it
It’s all that we need in our lives
So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real til it’s gone

And hold on before its too late
Until we leave this behind
Don’t fall just be who you are
It’s all that we need in our lives

And hold on before its too late
Until we leave this behind
Don’t fall just be who you are
It’s all that we need in our lives

It’s all that we need in our lives
It’s all that I need in my life

Stage Act

This year is coming to its end. This life seem like a repetitive stage act; nothing much had changed with exception that ageing caught up with you when you repeat your scripts for the zillions times.

Hope. As long as we have hope, that is as long as we strive to change our scripts. Our deadly scripts. I’ve done some thinking. And thinking that thinking will do me good. Nah. I keep thinking and the further my thoughts go, the further I am drifting apart from being the only person that is important; me.

The stage act continues…

The truth about happiness

Miss A :  “If you know my pain, could you release me from there? If sadness is part of life, why it felt like it’s has been a long time since I found happiness?”

Miss B : “Happiness is man-made, you can’t expect it to come out of the blue. Happiness is a choice. Eventhough you are in your worst days, smile for the smallest blessings God given to you. You need to find happiness, not happiness find you.”

Miss A : “I really tried to find happiness but sadness always clouded me. It covers me from finding happiness. Whenever I saw a glimpse of happiness, sadness comes and rains on me. I begin to lose hope on finding happiness again.”

Miss B : “Maybe you had misinterpret sadness. Sadness is there for a purpose. When there’s sun, there will be rain. Whenever there’s sadness, there will be happiness too. It just that you hoped so much for happiness that you forgot that sadness is necessary for happiness to come to you. Sadness never meant to cloud you, it’s there to remind you. That happiness is created, not by sitting there and wishing for it to come along your way.”

Miss A : “Thank you. I realised I have been trying to find that perfect happiness when it has been there all along. I just tried too hard to separate sadness from happiness that I lost my way to happiness. Sadness is here, but I would not like it come too close to my heart. I am so afraid that too much sadness will left me with nothingness. I am afraid of who I will become.”

Miss B : “Knowing how to control it is one step to self-heal yourself. You will be alright, I know. Never lose yourself in the hands of sadness. Never lose your own identity. And, never lose hope in happiness. It’s there for your taking.”